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Sometimes, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what is meant by the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a psychology professor, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Though three-quarters of people identified as having the condition are males, studies indicates this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she shares, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself continuously the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, John was referred to a therapist for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for psychological counseling on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: “They said it is expected around in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number